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    Intimacy and Desire

    Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship

    by Dr. David Schnarch

    Product Details:
    • Pub. Date: October 2009
    • Publisher: Beaufort Books, Incorporated
    • Format: Hardcover
    • Pages: 448
    • ISBN-13: 9780825306297
    • ISBN: 0825306299



    Many couples begin marital counseling with Dr. David Schnarch with their sex lives in shambles, wondering what's wrong with them, considering divorce. One partner will complain that the other doesn't desire him, the other complains that she's married to a sex maniac. During his 30 years in practice as a marriage and family therapist, Dr. Schnarch has discovered that sexual desire problems are normal and even healthy, in committed relationships.

    In Intimacy and Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship, Dr. Schnarch explains why couples in long term relationships have sexual desire problems, regardless of how much they love each other or how well they communicate. Through case studies of couples he worked with, Dr. Schnarch shows why normal marital conflict can be the cause of desire problems and creates a roadmap for how couples can transform marital conflict into a stronger relationship and a font of new and powerful desire for each other. He takes it a step further, giving readers simple but effective exercises that will help them reconnect with each other.

    Editorial Review

    Publishers Weekly

    Starred Review.

    Readers sick of typical glossy-magazine self-help patter about reigniting romance, or the droning pomposity of most author-experts, will be pleasantly surprised with psychologist and sex therapist Schnarch (Passionate Marriage). He immediately catches readers' attention by agreeing that the common "just do it" approach to solving sexual problems is not only ineffective, but often results in one partner responding with a decisive "Don't tell me what to do!" That kind of understanding produces a number of unexpected bombshells-including "Marriage does kill desire"-which produce an uncanny effect: getting couples to stop and reconsider their emotions, quit blaming each other, and start to think (and act) differently regarding sexual situations, behaviors and attitudes.

    The book's flaws are more aggravating than genuinely problematic-a tendency to lean on jargon and trademark key phrases ("Four Points of Balance(tm)")-but O'Neill breaks down complex issues with loosely-drawn real life examples, illustrating the dramatic and fundamental changes that occur when couples have a greater understanding of desire, monogamy and the brain. The process is neither easy nor quick, but Schnarch's confidence is contagious.

    Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

    Meet the Writer


    Name: Dr. David Schnarch

    Official Website:


    David Schnarch, Ph.D. (Dr. David) is co-director of the Marriage & Family Health Center. He is a licensed clinical psychologist, world-renown sex and marital therapist, and international best-selling author. He is a Certified Sex Therapist (Diplomat status) by American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). He chaired the Professional Education Committee and served on the Board of Directors for eight years, and received the first AASECT "Professional Standard of Excellence" Award. Dr. David is also a Clinical Member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), serves on the editorial board of AAMFT Journal of Marriage and Family Therapy. For seventeen years he was an Associate Professor in the Depts. of Psychiatry and Urology at Louisiana State University Medical School.
    In 1991, Dr. David wrote the landmark book, Constructing The Sexual Crucible: An Integration of Sexual and Marital Therapy(W. W. Norton & Co.). Sexual Crucible is used in clinical training programs across the country and read by therapists around the world. He is the founder of Crucible® Therapy, regarded by many as the most sophisticated integration of sex, intimacy, spirituality, personal development, and marital therapy developed to date.

    His second book, Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Emotionally Committed Relationships (W.W. Norton & Co., 1997; Owl Books, 1998) is a perennial international best seller. It sold over 300,000 copies in the U.S.A. before being re-released this year by W. W. Norton & Co. (May, 2009). It has been a hit in Germany for the last three years in both hardcover and softcover.

    His third book, Resurrecting Sex: Resolving Sexual Problems and Rejuvenating Your Relationship(HarperCollins, August, 2002), helps people who have problems with sexual dysfunctions (arousal, erections, or orgasm) for psychological, interpersonal and medical reasons. His latest book will focus on problems of sexual desire (October, 2009).

    Dr. David has been the subject of feature articles on NBC-TV Dateline, Town and Country Magazine, and CNBC-TV Real Personal. He has appeared on Today, and Good Morning America, and in USA Today, The Washington Post, Associated Press, Family Therapy Networker, Psychology Today, Self, Shape, and Mirabella. His work has been cited in Mademoiselle, Cosmopolitan, Ladies Home Journal, McCall's, Glamour, Redbook, and other magazines. He’s been featured in television, radio, and print media around the globe.

    Dr. David is also Director of the Crucible® Institute. The Marriage & Family Health Center is part of the family of offerings from the Crucible® Institute, devoted to advancing the art and science of differentiation-based health care.

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